✈️ Drone Downed: Pastor Declares End Times, Stocks Holy Water
PORTLAND, OR — February 4, 2026
With prophecy charts at the ready, the U.S. shot down an Iranian drone buzzing the USS Abraham Lincoln in the Arabian Sea—leading one pastor to scrap Bible study for bunker prep.
“We’ve got the signs,” said Pastor Caleb Thorne of Horizon Faith Assembly. “F-35 vs. Shahed-139? That’s Revelation remixed. We’re swapping small group for a Prayer & Provisions squad.”
Attendance jumped 214% for the emergency “End Times Briefing” on Zoom, where folks traded CENTCOM clips for dispensational diagrams. The haul: 47 Spam cases, “Living Water” reserves, and enough blessed baptistry H2O to sanctify the Willamette.
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Work with me here →“I figured the rapture hits mid-laundry,” quipped member Linda Ramirez. “Now it’s ‘Pre-Trib Tuna’ labels. Pray for peace, pack for pain—multitasking faith.”
Amid U.S.-Iran talks stalling and oil jitters, Thorne stands firm: “Wars and rumors? Birth pains. Next: ‘From Lincoln to Last Days’ series.”
The church dubbed its supply spot the “Ark Annex” and launched “Blessings in Buckets.” Enrollees claim growth—from heavy lifting.
Related: Grab our Be Strong & Courageous Lion Bible Verse Card (Joshua 1:9) — perfect for end-times encouragement. Free shipping over $50!
