🙏 Church Spiritual Gifts Survey Reveals 47 Experts in Discernment, Zero People Willing to Stack Chairs
FRANKLIN, TN — October 17, 2026
What began as an effort to help church members discover their spiritual gifts has left one Tennessee congregation facing an unexpected crisis: everyone knows exactly what the church needs, but nobody is willing to do it.
Of the 112 members who completed the survey at Oak Ridge Community Church, 47 identified their gift as discernment, 29 selected leadership, and another 18 claimed prophecy. Not a single person expressed interest in setting up folding chairs.
“We have enough people to identify a spirit of disorganization,” said volunteer coordinator Denise Porter, standing beside 63 unstacked chairs. “But apparently nobody feels called to do anything about it.”
Several members reportedly retook the assessment after receiving the gift of service, insisting the results did not accurately reflect their calling.
“I definitely have the gift of discernment,” said longtime member Mark Ellis. “I walked into the fellowship hall this morning and immediately discerned that somebody needed to stack those chairs.”
Ellis then returned to the sanctuary to pray about who that person might be.
The situation escalated Sunday when the worship team requested assistance unloading equipment. Four members immediately gathered around the equipment cart, laid hands on it, and began praying for someone with the spiritual gift of heavy lifting.
Pastor Daniel Brooks reminded the congregation that 1 Corinthians 12 describes the church as one body with many parts.
“Right now, our body is mostly eyeballs,” he admitted. “Very spiritually perceptive eyeballs. But absolutely no hands.”
The only volunteer was 76-year-old Helen Price, who already oversees the nursery, meal train, and church bulletin.
Helen never completed the spiritual gifts assessment.
“I saw some chairs,” she explained. “So I stacked them.”
At press time, 14 members were still discerning whether Helen's actions represented a genuine spiritual gift or simply an unhealthy inability to establish boundaries.
